Living through the pandemic is what my life is like living with lupus. A small part of me is relieved that so many people are living the way I have been forced to live since 2011. I know it is selfish, but this is the first time, in a long time, that I was on a level-playing field and able to engage in ways that didn’t make it clear that I was different because of my disability.
Lupus means my immune system is always compromised, and I have to be hypervigilant about exposing myself to any potential illness. And, what is worse is that even when I am hypervigilant, I still have health problems that happen because my body is broken.
There is a vaccine, and by summer, life will probably return to what it was before COVID. This means I will again be alone in my bubble and left out of so much because of my poor immune system and my inability to leave the house more than a few times a week. I am soooo happy there is a vaccine! I am desperately stalking my doctors to get my shot.
But, at the same time, I am sad that my limitless accessibility of the world, which was forced by a pandemic, will be ending. I will go back to being alone in my bubble, and the world will continue without me being able to access most of it.
I am going to enjoy these final months of a fully accessible world. My prayer is that some of the tools we have used to connect through the pandemic, like zoom and being cautious not to pass germs, will continue.