My public apology to mixed-race Black folks:
I believe that when someone does/says something wrong publically, they should apologize publically. This is something I have really been wrestling with for a few years, and I realize that I was wrong.
sooo, my public apology:
For a long time, I downplayed the experience of folks that were mixed with Black, self-identifying as mixed or biracial. I even wrote about it.
I realize now that the experience of folks who are post-Loving Supreme Court decision, that are mixed with Black is the result of two consenting adults who are choosing to have children. That is different than most Black folks, like me, who have a lot of White blood because of rape.
It is true that it wouldn’t have mattered how someone self-identified during slavery; one drop of being Black in America makes you Black.
It is also true that too many White Americans, it doesn’t matter if someone self-identifies as bi-racial or not Black; if they have Black blood, they are still a nigger (cue Jay Z’s “story of O.J)
But in 2023, the experience of being bi-racial with Black is different than it has been in most of American history. And, further, this experience is not the same experience of me, and other Black folks who are mixed because of rape, so we/I should invalidate or dismiss the different life experiences of mixed-race Black folks.
So, I apologize to anyone I offended in a discussion, post, or with my writing.
To anyone who wants to see my original piece, it is printed below. I think it is important to keep writings, even if you were wrong. It shows that folks can, and should, be open to change.
Sincerely,
ShaRhonda (Rondi)
THIS IS A POST FOR PEOPLE WHO IDENTIFY AS BLACK OR ARE MIXED WITH BLACK
Okay, I’ve been warned by multiple people, not to write this, because I will be vilified. And, I tried to let it go out of my spirit, but I couldn’t. After a particularly difficult conversation, with people who identify as “bi-racial” or “multi-racial,” where I was told over and over, I was wrong, I really wanted to drop it. I really did!
But the thing is, racism is real, and it can not be eradicated unless we talk about it.
And, part of racism is self-hatred. I love Black people. But we, Black people, have bought into this idea that Black= Bad and White=good. Or Black=ignorant and White=smart. And, that is dangerous! I will never apologize for defending Black people and what I perceive as negative stereotyping of Black people. For sure, racism is real. Racism against Black people is real. So, if a Black person, which is what I call, and the world calls, people who are mixed with Black, says something that is negative about my Black community, I feel it is important to bring it up. However, Black is a huge umbrella term that includes anyone who has Black blood. So, we are all in the same Black community.
James Baldwin says, “IF I LOVE YOU, I HAVE TO MAKE YOU CONSCIOUS OF THE THINGS YOU DON’T SEE.”
I am sure there are minor things that happen specifically to mixed-race folks that they can bond over. That doesn’t mean all mixed-race people are a new race. Mixed-race, is not a racial identity. There is not shared culture. I am currently trying to change the designation on school forms, that currently allows students to identify as “mixed-race” or “multi-racial” a category. Why? Because it is harmful to Black students. Black students, regardless of their mixed heritage are experiencing racism and inequality at schools. So, having Black students, identify as “mixed-race” instead of Black, dilutes the data. We can not track racism adequately, if we have Black students, identifying with students who are Asian and White! There is a difference between someone who is Japanese and German, than someone who is Japanese and Black, especially when that Black comes from the enslavement of Europeans. (#teamNaomi)
Similarly, there is no real shared culture with Latino, Asian, and even Arab, it is only used as an umbrella term to gain political power as a group, in America. So, no, you can’t equate racial experiences with the other experiences, you described.
Honestly, I want all Black people to know and love themselves. We are so broken and have so much to do to relate better with one another.
Here is a brief, and sadly incomplete list of all of our self-hatred issues:
- Black men against Black women
- Black educated against Black uneducated
- Black militants against Black pacifists
- Black Christians against Black, well, every other religion but Christian.
- Black African Immigrants
verses African Americans - Dominican Republic Blacks against Haitian Blacks
- `Latino Blacks against non-Latino Blacks
- Rich Blacks against Poor Blacks
- Light skinned Blacks against
Dark skinned Blacks - Chicago Blacks against Detroit Blacks.
- Southside Blacks against Westside Blacks
- City Blacks against Suburban Blacks
Literally, this list could go on forever. There are so many ways that Black people hate other Black people.
The generational trauma, due to racism and slavery, is real and different. I work to help Black children and Black people get liberated from oppression. And, that includes Black people who have been oppressed by other Black people. Or Black women who have been oppressed by Black men. But we are still BLACK! I guess, my final comment is if you don’t want to be Black, or don’t like being called Black, or you dislike your personal Blackness, cool. There are lots of people like you. But it is not something that should be encouraged. What should be encouraged is Black people figuring out how we can get along better with each other and fix our community. So, best of luck to whoever wants to identify as bi-racial, and not Black. In the spirit of James Baldwin’s quote on love, and I love all Black people, I’ll say, be careful.
White racism is real. White people are racist. America is racist. So, best of luck, identifying as non-Black, but bi-racial, equally Black and White. Hopefully, you can be one of the first minorities to avoid racism. But, lucky for you, if and/or when, you experience White racism, the Black community,
Black people, we have to love each other! We have to do better! We have to heal from the legacy of slavery. I love you, Black women, that’s why I won’t let this go. No, you can’t write off your blackness, in favor, of bi-racial.
You are Black.
You can have White relatives, White partners, and White friends, but you are still Black. Further, your White partners, White relatives, or White friends are not, exempt, from being racist and participating in White Supremacy, just because they are with you and/or birthed you. You, Black person, will still receive racism and oppression.
No, you are not the same as other mixed-race people of non-Black heritage. No matter how light or dark you are, we are still Black! Let’s love who we are and stop the spread of self-hatred.
Racism is deeper than self-
Why, if you’re biracial, do you ‘default’ to being black? If you have a 100% white mother and a 100% black father, you’re 50/50. Why not say you’re white? Rhetorical question because you ARE both. You’re just as white as you are black. You should be both! And proud of that. You said “white people are racist”. That is a ridiculous statement. Some white people are racist just as some black people are racist. Your post makes me think you’re racist. You’re a human being like me and like every single other person in the world. That’s enough… Race just shouldn’t come into it at all.
I’m probably 75% black and 25% white. But I’m from BOTH races. Not just the one. I don’t care in the slightest. I’m a human.
Most African Americans have other races in them. There aren’t many 100% black people in the US. But who cares. I guess the reason some come to be of mixed race is horrible (I’m referring to the horrible period of slavery when 100% black women were raped by white men, or to a lesser extent when 100% black men raped white women). They made another human.
People should stop talking about race because every one is a human being at the lowest common denominator.
Race should be irrelevant. We’re all unique and that’s the amazing thing.
I agree 100% with Johny. You put so much emphasis on race without reason and make the most irrelevant points I have ever heard. If someone is 50% white and 50% black they are not black. By calling them black you are being ignorant of their white heritage AKA racist by denying them of the right to celebrate their heritage and telling them that they are only one. If a child is born from the womb of a white woman or was made with the sperm of a white man how can you possibly be so ignorant as to say they are black, the statements you have made here in this blog are ridiculous and are a good example of how racism is not exclusive to white people. It’s like to say if someone is German and French they should just identify as being one. Very stupid. I hope you go and take a class in human genetics, despite what you say a human from 2 different continents with one parents being of African origin and the other being of European origin will always be mixed and nothing else.
Biracial Individuals are people that want the comforts afforded to whites. They are you This is the equivalent of Fair Skinned Blacks ‘passing’ and is definitely a form of self hatred
This is very odd to read considering and assuming you are a black woman who comes from black parents, who has no experience in being mixed race whatsoever (again just assuming.) From someone who is mixed and came from a black woman who had a child with a white man, I firmly disagree with this whole post. I will not be stripped of either side of my biological makeup and I refuse to identify as either the good side due to oppression (black) or the bad side due to racism (white.) Here’s the thing, neither is good or bad, they’re just communities of people who have a skin color or biological make up which came from different regions of Earth and our ancestors migrated here to America or were brought here against their will. However, you want to claim race as a cultural topic and that’s just not it. My culture is my culture and my race is my race. Just like how there’s many different groups of black people in Africa, but they don’t all celebrate the same traditions or have the same societal morals or practices as other countries, cultures, and tribes in Africa. I don’t identify as bi-racial because I wish to shun my black side, I don’t even identify as white; I identify as bi-racial because that is what I am. Me being bi-racial does not harm my security or confidence in being black, PEOPLE harm my security or confidence in being black as they wash away my DNA to fit their ideals of what’s black and what’s white to them.
I’d be stupid to identify as fully white or black in any type of form asking for my race due to the inaccuracy of the demographic percentage that could be taken and used for research studies, government records, and for the sake of not lying to myself. I am biracial, I am half black and half white, yes I can happily identify as both, I do identify as both, and I refuse to choose sides or be reprimanded for how I would like to represent my community. If anything, forcing a child to choose which racial identity to be causes more confusion for bi-racial individuals and is more harmful to the actual black students and black community who are constantly overlooked due to mixed people actually diluting black data. And if you want to look at race as a struggle to express cultural freedom, black and mixed people did not have the same exact experiences during American slavery, during the South African apartheid, or the Australian Stolen Generations, etc.
It’s okay to allow mixed raced people to identify as their own people, but that does not strip them of celebrating and associating with their black and white/Hispanic/Asian counterparts individually or as a whole. Nor, does that make it okay for our black or white/Hispanic/Asian counterparts to turn their backs on us just because they refuse to accept our other side based off of historical events and cultural differences.
You are right, racism is deeper than we think, however, race itself is not which is what makes racism asinine in the first place.
thanks for your comment. racism is stupid and so is figuring out “the rules.” I have my own ideas about “racism rules” As you said, they are guided largely by my racial experience. Luckily, we all can self-identify, you and me both. Thanks again for commenting.
Who the hell are you to tell someone what they are and what they are not? You are not mixed, you have no mixed children, no mixed parent and no mixed relatives, most likely. You are not a geneticist, nor are you an anthropologist. You are no one but an outsider looking in, trying to talk about what goes on inside, from a curtain covered window, outside, standing on the sidewalk.
And of course, people like you, like White Southerner inbreds and Jews in Southern state governmental institutions before you, have always appointed themselves as a spokesperson for Black/White mixed race people. We have mouths. We can speak for ourselves and we don’t need Black help or White help or Jewish help or Democrat help or Republican help or American help to speak.
We are mixed race. We are neither your kind, nor are we Whites. We need to pursue our own destiny because both of you are detrimental to us and so is the United States. Our struggle is not your struggle. Your struggle is not our struggle. You are not our brothers. We are not yours. I think we speak for our half-Asian and part-Eurasian brothers as well.
The only thing we share with you is the only thing we share with Whites or Asians: some of your DNA. That is all. You are a mere component. If this stupid nation had race laws like the rest of Earth and if Blacks could stop the crimes and the killing other Blacks, accounting for 97% of Black homicides, maybe all these White cops would stop being so trigger happy on mixed people like Jason Washington and Jeremy Lake and would admit the truth. But of course, this nation is a nation of idiots. What the rulers of this nation did is not surprising to us. Idiots typically do dumb things. The only reason we have solidarity with you anyways is because of the one drop sociology of the United States and our mutual enslavement.
But, no one cares what Americans think throughout the rest of the Earth. America does not matter in the grand scheme and is one nation on Earth that is near an economic and political collapse anyways. Their subjective view on us is irrelevant. It is the only nation that is dumb enough to purport the one drop rule and its ideology, just like they are dumb enough to avoid the metric system. Even all the countries of Europe acknowledge mixed people as mixed. America is the only nation on Earth that does not do this because it is run by idiots and trash. Even Nazi Germany acknowledged mixed race people as being mixed and said the one drop rule was too extreme. America telling a lie has no weight compared to the rest of the Earth seeing the truth: We are mixed. It can not be covered up anymore.
It may be fine for you all and your White and Jewish slavemasters in the USA to believe and purport lies but this “if you’re half black, you’re just black BECAUSE WE SAY SO! THIS IS AMERICA, HURRRR DURRRRR..” styled pilpul does not work on us at all anymore post 2010s, nor does it change the biology or the truth we are hybrids. If you believe this conspiracy theory you are shilling that we hybrids are Black, then why aren’t you posting about how Mexicans are Native American and Hapas are East Asians? Why aren’t you telling these Southern hicks who are “part Cherokee and Choctaw” that they are White? Exactly. We know this little game all too well. It doesn’t work on us anymore. Without us, you lose your overachievers and a sizeable portion of political power and we all know it. That’s the real reason you fight our identity and freedom.
We are genetically incompatible with organ transplants and bone marrow more than others because we are mixed. We have distinct genetic differences. Distinct physiological differences. Distinct intelligence differences. You people are racists, like Whites. Typical. None of you want us to have our best interests at heart. We should all separate from each other. Integration was a mistake and South Africa had the best system.
Ma’am, I will try to be as respectful as I can about this……
Sorry if this is a bit all over the place. So much on my mind.
I agree with Mixed Race & Proud. As part of the majority of black people, this opinion you have is common and it is dangerous. As I speak to you there are so many dark and brown black American or even African people that hate light and mixed people, are planning our demise, only wish to use us and throw us away, silence us and you think that the solution is to force mixed people to remain black? Absurd. Only those of us brainwashed are still believing you guys care for us as much as yourselves. Many black people are racial purists even though they are mixed.
We deal with racism from both blacks and whites(not to mention the other races). You don’t have that experience in the same way a mixed person does. It is like a mix between envious obsession, fake love and hate. Black people really need to let us go and stop speaking for us. White people need to slow their roll as they are beginning to try more too.White people already use us all for what they want to portray in media. Blacks should worry about themselves and build themselves up alone instead of trying to police us on how to be good pets to them. You guys don’t have our backs, y’all pick and choose who to throw out or ignore. The darker you are, the more likely you get to remain in the community while doing wrong by it. The care is conditional. In this hierarchy, we may have privileges but this lack of identity is killing us. Black people know this and take advantage of that insecurity. How can we help people that want us to do two things at once? Both shut up and speak up, both be black and be non-existent? Make this make sense! Your people are too indecisive and they spend much effort pretending they don’t hurt us. Blaming us for their pains while attacking each other. We are not allowed to have pain that was caused by them, it is all in our heads…..Gaslighting. Waiting on us to use our privileges but we are not aware of how to do so because we aren’t in charge, don’t have all the means and everytime we take an action or speak up to help, we can’t win for losing with black people. We literally have to be self-hating and deifying black people to be acceptable.
I’m aware that there are mixed people who think they are better than black people. They are not. They are delusional and every group has bad apples.
It is wrong for you to advocate to take away the right for us to identify as what we really are. That is something mixed people have needed for years. Unless you plan to fight against all racial labels, why bother? It seems you see blacks as the only ones dealing with racism. Too many black people take being biracial or mixed as meaning superior, this being the reason they don’t want us to have our own identity. We are no better than any other group. People of other racial mixes deal with racism in other parts of the world. Monoracial Asians deal with racism and they do not have black features! Forcing us to stick together is also dangerous because while we have a chance against those white, asian, etc who are doing racially motivated things against us, we don’t have the same chance against “our own” black people. Black people can be and indeed are racist too. You guys didn’t escape the imperfection that every other group has. It is a dreamy vision of blackness that is untrue. Like a filter that throws out the bullying and keeps the façade in front of our eyes.
Don’t get me wrong, I love black people. Black is beautiful. It is not however the only beautiful race or superior. I came from a black mother but that doesn’t mean I owe racial loyalty to black people because, let’s be honest, most people focus on those that are closest in similarty to themselves first. I don’t look like my mother but was taught to see myself in all complexions. My father is tan in complexion, same as me. Black people have shown us we are never going to be black enough and that is okay. What causes the identity issue that many mixed people have is trying to be only black when the rest of the world sees something else there. This is taught by our black parents or parents who believe they are only black. We need to accept ourselves fully. Why must you prevent growth for others? Eventually, the result of not letting us go will be hatred of some sort. You can only be blind for so long.
Every time a mixed person speaks up to say they want their own group or go by mixed, people such as yourself shut them down by saying that they are: 1. Black like everyone else 2. Confused 3. Trying to be different 4. Self hating or 5. Divisive
How is it divisive to want to keep your own mental sanity intact? Please, stop advocating for old Jim crow era nonsense. The One Drop Rule was made for white supremacists who wanted to maintain racial purity, not for the benefit of you as a black woman or me as a mixed woman. Us coming together has done what good for you guys?
Why can’t we all succeed in our own lanes? Black people need their own space with acheivable expectations and so do mixed people. I know that perhaps someone will wish to say it is breaking families apart to separate based on race or skin tone. To that I say, look at France or the UK. They have separate racial groups and are still able to have cohesive bonds with family members of other races. Not always postive but it is possible. Also, I highly doubt that White, Black, Asian, Native American, etc were always racial classifications so it is not impossible to add different racial mixes to the options available. Other groups are still fighting to have their race added.
If you reply, I won’t know. Sorry
As a half black person myself, I actually agree with quite a bit of what you said. This is particularly true when it comes to the identification portions that dilute the very different experiences of biracial people (ex. a wasian vs. blasian person). I have not seen anyone mention this in discussions, and I think it’s a very much looked over piece that we should be talking more about.
However, at the same time, I wish you grappled with the fact that half black kids solely identifying themselves black will absolutely be met with resistance from the black community. I noticed that you framed half black kids identifying as biracial out of either shame for their blackness or because they’ve been made to believe their experience is 100% different from full black people. I grew up strictly identifying with my blackness despite appearing quite ethnically ambiguous (people usually think I’m indian or hispanic). Yes, I’m aware of my privilege and fully accept these facts. It’s hard not to realize these privileges when my darker brothers put up with all kinds of anti-black racism. But if I realized that no matter how much I identify with my blackness (I was mostly raised alone by my black mother), I definitely will not be accepted with open arms by most people. And I understand why to an extent! Definitely not trying to imply that this attitude exists for no reason. But this post fails to account for the fact that not everyone who is half black will explicitly look half black, and that even those who do look half black still face resistance when they claim their blackness. Now, if we were to say “if you are half black *and* you look part black, you should identify as solely black” this inherently will also place racially ambiguous/white-passing biracial kids in a very nebulous spot, because those with the same backgrounds as them will be told that they are enough while they are. So what do we do with all of this? This post puts the entire onus on biracial kids without grappling with what biracial kids have been trying to tell people: we are very often times not fully accepted by either side, even if we want to be. Despite biracial kids being mocked for bringing up this point frequently and people belittling it as a trite issue, I think this post exemplifies *why* we have to bring it up all the time. We are frequently caught in the middle, with different people telling us what we should and shouldn’t be identifying as. It’s 100% a lose-lose situation tbh. I totally understand your point and where you are coming from, and I think this applies to those who are part black, look part black, but also *deny* that aspect. But that’s a very narrow type of biracial person (though the tone of this post makes it seem like this is representative of the entire biracial experience). I see your intentions, but there’s just some nuance missing.
As a half black person myself, I actually agree with quite a bit of what you said. This is particularly true when it comes to the identification portions that dilute the very different experiences of biracial people (ex. a wasian vs. blasian person). I have not seen anyone mention this in discussions, and I think it’s a very much looked over piece that we should be talking more about.
However, at the same time, I wish you grappled with the fact that half black kids solely identifying themselves black will absolutely be met with resistance from the black community. I noticed that you framed half black kids identifying as biracial out of either shame for their blackness or because they’ve been made to believe their experience is 100% different from full black people. I grew up strictly identifying with my blackness despite appearing quite ethnically ambiguous (people usually think I’m indian or hispanic). Yes, I’m aware of my privilege and fully accept these facts. It’s hard not to realize these privileges when my darker brothers put up with all kinds of anti-black racism. But I realized that no matter how much I identify with my blackness (I was mostly raised alone by my black mother), I definitely will not be accepted with open arms by most people. And I understand why to an extent! Definitely not trying to imply that this attitude exists for no reason. But this post fails to account for the fact that not everyone who is half black will explicitly look half black, and that even those who do look half black still face resistance when they claim their blackness. Now, if we were to say “if you are half black *and* you look part black, you should identify as solely black” this inherently will also place racially ambiguous/white-passing biracial kids in a very nebulous spot, because those with the same backgrounds as them will be told that they are enough while they are not. So what do we do with all of this? This post puts the entire onus on biracial kids without grappling with what biracial kids have been trying to tell people: we are very often times not fully accepted by either side, even if we want to be. Despite biracial kids being mocked for bringing up this point frequently and people belittling it as a trite issue, I think this post exemplifies *why* we have to bring it up all the time. We are frequently caught in the middle, with different people telling us what we should and shouldn’t be identifying as. It’s 100% a lose-lose situation tbh. I totally understand your point and where you are coming from, and I think this applies to those who are part black, look part black, but also *deny* that aspect. But that’s a very narrow type of biracial person (though the tone of this post makes it seem like this is representative of the entire biracial experience).
Resubmitting for some typos that effect clarity