This Mother’s Day, Fight For Right for Women To Decide to Be Mothers

The new rule, Republican lawmakers in states like Indiana, Alabama, and Georgia don’t get to say, “Happy Mother’s Day.” These MF’ers are creating laws that hurt, and possibly kill, mothers.

So to all the legislators who voted for these new laws, FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK YOOOOOUUUUUUU!

These assholes are seriously pretending to care about women and children while oppressing and controlling women, under the guise, of “pro-life.” Make no mistake, there is nothing about “pro-life” about these laws, in some case it is “pro-death” for mothers like me.

Here is my personal testimony and how new abortion laws may kill me, a mother of two.

I have lupus.
I had severe hyperemesis guanidium for both pregnancies, which means I was so nauseous I was unable to eat or drink and had to get all my food, medication, and nutrients through an IV. For the entire pregnancy.

I was extremely sick during my pregnancy.
I almost died from pregnancy-related complications.

I was aware of the risks and willing to endure whatever to have my children. I told all doctors and my husband, in a written medical statement too, that if there is a choice to be made of whose life to save, me or my baby, I wanted them to save my baby’s life.

I had to take medication that caused serious, life-long problems to me, but that did not hurt my children, in order to have success pregnancies.

Because of the complications, I am legally, “totally and permanently disabled” because of my pregnancy.

ALL OF THIS WAS MY CHOICE AND I HAVE NO REGRETS.

However, knowing all that I went through with my pregnancies, ALL my doctors (8 of them), my husband, and me, decided I should not have any more pregnancies or children because of the danger to my body.

BUT…

However, because the hospital denied me the option to get my tubal ligation (religious beliefs of hospital trumped my health) and, my health won’t allow me to take birth control, I’m stuck in the difficult position of knowing that another pregnancy can kill me AND that it is possible, because of decisions made by other people who don’t know me or my personal history (The Catholic Church, Blue Cross Blue Shield, and republican lawmakers), that I can still physically get pregnant. And, I would have to decide, again, if I’m willing to risk my life to pregnancy where the chances are there will severe harm to me and the baby.

I’m not angry or resentful about having my children. I knew the risks and I made a choice to have a family.

But now I am angry. Very angry.

These are the parts of my health and reproductive choices that I had no choice in and I’m resentful to politicians, churches, institutions, and anyone else whose opinions about “pregnancy” put my life in danger:

-my hospital was Catholic does not allow for tubal ligation, even when the health of mother is at risk. (which I didn’t know was something I needed to ask when I randomly picked a doctor from my list of HMO providers)

-I am unable to get birth control through my doctor’s office at the hospital. I have to go to their office and billed personally because it is out of network.

My lupus is flaring and I have to take a medication called methotrexate. In addition to helping lupus, it is also used to end pregnancies. So, if I get pregnant, it is a good chance the medication will kill the fetus but more likely it will cause fatal deformities.

Meaning, I’m taking a medication that I NEED to keep my lupus from further spreading into my heart and lungs, but that medication, also causes fetal deformities and death to a fetus.

So, under these new laws, even though we know if I get pregnant, it is a 90% certainty the baby will not survive, either the pregnancy or will die shortly after birth, I would be unable to get an abortion, if the baby has a heartbeat.

You can hear the heartbeat as early as two weeks after you miss your period.

Further, many women, me included, don’t have periods that are predictable. So it is extremely likely we could be over 6 weeks pregnant, and not know because there are no symptoms yet. However, these laws would make it a crime, to have an abortion because the pregnancy would likely kill me and the baby. If I had an abortion I would be charged with murder with the possibility of the death penalty!

Also, remember, I was denied the options of tubal ligation. Husband denied the option of vasectomy.

So, if I get pregnant (because the hospital and church REFUSED me the option to have my tubes tided) and I would know that I was carrying an unviable pregnancy that is likely to kill both me and my baby, I would have no say in what happens to my body.

The only options that are available to me are:

refrain from sex permanently (which is tough because my husband is hot),
or gamble with my life, physically and systemically (possibility of prison) if I get pregnant.

This shit is insane and every woman and man should be furious.

I have willingly risked my life to have my children. And, I don’t want to risk my life again. Yet, “pro-life” policies about my personal reproductive health have put me in an impossible position.

These laws aren’t about protecting unborn babies. Because many abortions happen because of pregnancy complications that will hurt the baby and child and/or mother.

Plus, it’s none of anyone’s business what I, or any woman is doing with our body!